Changing course again

 School started last week. Having done some subbing during summer school, I thought I would leave myself open to do some subbing this school year. However, in their "wisdom," the contractor that is responsible for all of the timekeeping and payroll for subs decided, the day before the school year began, to switch to a completely new, completely different timekeeping system.

We subs learned about it at 5:30 the night before school began. I felt angered and frustrated because the new system is completely different from the old and the so-called "instruction manual" that was included in the email contained so much extraneous information that, in order to find the information a sub here would need, I had to wade through pages of info that didn't pertain to me.

My first reaction that night was to say "Nuts to them I'm just not going to bother this year." And then I thought of writing one of my infamous emails to the District detailing why doing this at this time and in this manner was a bad idea. After mulling it over for an hour, I decided to take a new tack, take what I consider a measured, calm approach. And I simply emailed the District asking specific questions about things I was having problems with--like logging in--and asking if there was still going to be telephone notification of positions available. A day and a half later, the District replied with crucial information needed TO log in and a confirmation that no, there would no longer be a phone notification that jobs were available; subs would have to log in if they wanted to see what was available. 

So, I logged in Thursday, saw that there was a vacancy available for a teacher I was familiar with on Friday. I figured out how to "accept" it. I was still determined, in my new course to be calm and keep to the facts, not to complain about the new system to folks at the school but simply to turn up, do the job and be a pleasant, uplifting person. I managed to do that on Friday and it was a great day of subbing. The class, a fifth grade, was respectful, worked hard, a good time was had by all. I was feeling very optimistic that, despite the not-so-great new absence system, it was going to be a good year.

When the same teacher put in an absence for today I leapt on it. Oh good, thought I, another opportunity to be with these wonderful students. But somehow over the weekend those wonderful students had been abducted by space aliens and replaced by noisy, mouthy, lookalikes who drained every bit of energy out of my body. The lesson plan that the teacher had given to the office meant a lot of teaching, a lot of at-the-board explaining. But as I was trying to explain how to write an argumentative essay, then how to understand place values in math, then how their own American government works, and finally, how to write sentences using the week's vocabulary words . . . my audience was chatting merrily away about other things, drawing pictures, teasing each other. The only thing missing were the spitballs and paper airplanes.

I tried involving them--nope, no response, they'd rather chat with each other. I tried having them do it themselves. They'd rather chat with each other. The teacher has a doorbell system which she rings to remind them to be quiet. The length of time between the ring of the bell and their return to their noisy chatter grew shorter and shorter as the day wore on.

And finally, yes, I lost it. I became that teacher that we all hated--the screamer. The one who tells students they are the worst class she's had for a long time. The one who says she's leaving a note for the teacher asking the teacher to mete out suitable punishment tomorrow. Take recess away. Make them write a 100 word essay on respect. Make them write out 100 times "I will respect the substitute teacher"....

I fear, though, that tomorrow the teacher will simply say "You should have done better" and that will be that. While I try to forget my loss of control.

Which leads me to once again change course from Friday's plans. As I trudged out to the car after school I began to mull everything over. I was pleased though that I hadn't complained to anyone as I was leaving. I had kept my head high, smiled and handed in my keys for the classroom, said the day was "fine" and left. (The damning note to the teacher, however, is on her desk.) By the time I swung the car out of the parking lot and pointed it toward my home haven and the Drumstick ice cream cone in the freezer, I had virtually decided that the salary isn't worth what I miss out on. 

I missed out on my morning walking group. I missed a day of doing genealogy research. An afternoon nap. Reading a book. Watching the new mystery series on Acorn. All of which would be far more pleasant than what I went through today. So, I am revising my plan and am going back to being a lady of leisure. At least until I can sort out under what conditions I WOULD want to sub. 

Perhaps it would be wise to give the teachers a month to get their students under control and then sub for teachers who I trust to HAVE control over their classroom. I knew the teacher I was subbing for but she'd only had a day and a half with them before she had to isolate for five days to make sure she hadn't contracted COVID. So she hadn't had time to get them right. Friday's good behavior might have been a fluke. 

I actually, apart from still feeling embarrassed about losing it with the students and becoming the sub all students love to hate, am pleased that I have put myself first. That I don't actually need to subject myself to badly behaved students. And that, having written all this down, I can now let it go.