Vacation wrap up

 On April 6^th I posted a blog called “Another Week” wherein I wrote that R and I had booked to go away for a month. This is what I wrote:

“The day after Mitzi died, Richard suggested we book two cruises--one going out of Fort Lauderdale to England, one returning a week later. One on the Queen Mary 2, one on the Queen Elizabeth. We had been holding back a long time from traveling together, partly from the COVID pandemic (although of course I went away solo last Fall) but mostly because of Mitzi. She couldn't be left alone and, after my trip in the Fall, I realized she couldn't be left with Richard either. She was glued to me. So all of our conversations about travel--and we dearly love to travel--began with "after Mitzi passes."

All this is to say that although it seems a bit of a jump to be booking a month away the day after Mitzi died, it was something we had been thinking about for a long time. Everything has become extremely expensive though--flights, hotels--but cruises, because they have been hit so hard, haven't. We can cruise for 22 days (a 10-day and a 12-day cruise) and it was very reasonable, considering 3 meals (plus any other food we might want) a day, no driving, entertainment (hopefully, since COVID rates are rising, who knows what will happen about gatherings on board) but just lots of time to watch the ocean go by. And then a week in England, the Spring flowers, hopefully seeing a few of the relatives....

The major part, though, is that accommodates both R and myself in what we like to do. I like to go to lectures, to read, to meander, do exercises, to write, work on my photography. And he likes to sit and draw and paint, watch news shows (which he can do in the cabin while I am elsewhere.) We eat different food at different times but if we want to eat together we can do that too. It should be blissful although I am also realistic enough to know that COVID has changed our assumptions about how the world works. To say nothing of the dreadful war in Ukraine. I am very aware that peace is fragile, for some nonexistent, which makes me want to grab for what I can, when I can without, I hope, doing anyone any harm.”

A month and a half later, we are back and have almost recovered from jet lag, which has been brutal. We returned midnight last Saturday (May 14^th) after a very draining day traveling. 

We disembarked from the ship at 8:15 a.m. Florida time—which would have been 5:15 a.m. Arizona time, waited at the airport for NINE hours, flew first to Atlanta (about 2 hours’ flying time,) waited another hour at Atlanta airport and then another 3.5 hour flight to Tucson. We arrived at the airport at 9:45 p.m. Tucson time. We were exhausted; both flights had been jammed, totally booked—we were seated three abreast in seats that seem to have got smaller since we last flew. It wasn’t that I had gained weight—I hadn’t—just that the plane we flew on the last leg was an Airbus and I think it was a smaller plane than I usually fly in. We finally tottered to our car in the long-term parking to discover that our car battery was dead. Completely. Luckily the parking attendant was able to jump start the car and I drove home. Almost an hour’s drive, we arrived home at midnight. It’s taken me four days to feel somewhat normal although I am so, so, grateful to be home! I almost kissed the ground when we drove into our garage. 

I now feel ready to do a final wrap-up of the vacation, having written two less-than-complimentary reviews of Cunard on Cruise Critic. I admit that a lot of my complaints aren’t necessarily Cunard’s fault . . . but let’s leave that for the moment.

First, to return to what I wrote about my goals for the trip which were to recover a bit from Mitzi’s death, to relax, read, write, photograph, not have to cook, see England again, see my cousins, enjoy shipboard life.

How did the trip measure up? Looking back on my blog—and thinking about everything I DIDN’T write—returning home to a Mitzi-less house still felt sad, but as Susan Cain writes in Bittersweet, grief is like that. Writing about a Japanese Haiku poet, she says “Two hundred years ago, Issa taught that we should be aware of impermanence—we should notice how ephemeral the dewdrops are—but we shouldn’t pretend that grief disappears. No matter how much your culture tells you to smile, it’s not human to simply move on.” (Susan Cain, Bittersweet, p. 203) I agree with that, but there's another quote on the same page, this time from author Nora McInerny, that I almost want to tattoo to my forearm: “We need each other to remember to help each other remember, that grief is this multitasking emotion. That you can and will be sad, and happy; you’ll be grieving, and able to love in the same year or week, the same breath.” (Cain, p. 203) I am so grateful for friends who exemplify this kind of caring, with whom I can be honest, who don't tell me to "move on" but who also encourage me to move forward. So, on this trip I was happy, and sad, missing Mitzi but also moving forward to a life where she isn’t there but the lessons she taught me about loving and sacrificing are.

On to the other goals. Starting with wanting to relax and enjoy shipboard life? Again, like the quote about grief, feelings of being relaxed came and went, along with feelings of high stress. I have written at length about the Damocles’ sword of COVID that hung over our heads all through the two cruises. There was some respite during our week in England, except for the knowledge that if we tested positive in Southampton, we’d be facing the unknown consequences of Cunard’s not letting us on board. That we survived all the COVID tests without testing positive—I lost track of how many we had—seems a huge miracle and blessing. Again, a kiss the ground moment when I did some online research this week that I ought to have done before we booked the cruises. Although Cunard gave us no information on what the actual situation was on board the ships if we HAD been on board and caught COVID, there were enough scary articles already published—from December, January, February—that should have nixed our plans to cruise while these COVID rules are in place.  Two weeks in a B & B in San Diego might have cost a little more than our trip but would have been far more relaxing. But we didn’t know that, wouldn’t have known that had we not experienced this past month. I do now though. Future travelling until the US’ COVID rules about testing are lifted will involve sticking to the US or western Canada and traveling by automobile. 

I did a lot of reading on the trip, very enjoyable reading. That’s one thing I can say for both ships, their libraries were full of wonderful English mysteries. Escapist, relaxing, I even discovered a new author, Ann Granger. According to my Goodreads account, I finished 11 books and reviewed them all on Goodreads. 

So not only was I keeping up with my reading, between reviewing the books I read and writing my almost-daily blog, I was also keeping up with writing. I won’t talk about the horrible Internet on board the ship; did that subject to death on a previous blog and in my reviews of the ships on Cruise Critic. Oh and it was wonderful not to have to cook; I was surprised to discover when I weighed myself back home that I didn’t gain anything. Didn’t lose anything either, so it’s back to my goal of getting to “healthy weight” by the end of the year. I have 16 pounds to lose, wouldn’t have been difficult up to middle age, a bit more difficult now. But not overwhelming.

I didn’t do much reading or writing the week we were in England because we were too busy enjoying London, my lovely, lovely London. Still the city that I fell in love with almost 50 years ago. I have blogged about that as well. Again, there was that bittersweet element—returning to a place where I had so many momentous changes occur made me very aware of choices and the passage of time. Also reminded me that time hasn’t yet stopped for me, where do I go—not in terms of travel but in terms of “regular” life—next. Some plans are forming based on reflections post-trip. Not ready to write about them yet but soon.

I didn’t blog much about seeing my cousins, that was so emotional that I don’t have the words yet. Despite the dreadful food at the pub lunch with Bill and Annie, I would have taken the trip across the pond (almost) for that alone. And I have the photographs and I have the memories in my heart, not only of lunch with Bill but lunch with Elizabeth at the Tate Modern and dinner at her and Tim’s place in Putney the day before we headed to Southampton. I didn’t post a photo of the dinner—had to wait for Elizabeth to send me photos as I didn’t think to play photographer. Too busy gabbing. 

So here’s one of Elizabeth’s; it symbolizes how wonderful it was to have a happy, raucous meal with adult family/friends. It’s something that never happens here in Sierra Vista unless we have out-of-town visitors. We talked and talked at Elizabeth’s, ate and ate and when we regretfully said we needed to go, were met with a chorus of “but we haven’t got to the cheese and grapes yet!” How I wish it didn’t take so much effort to get to Elizabeth’s cheerful house in Putney!

And that’s the summary; there’s more that I have thought of, that I am chewing over, but it’s something that needs to be in a private journal, not a blog. At least not in its current raw form. Maybe someday….