January 2024 and blogging

 I haven't posted on my blog for a long time. Partly that was due to not knowing what to write about and partly it was wondering if I wanted to put myself "out there" anymore. And in what way.

I subscribe to a few blogs on Substack, which is a subscription-based blog. You can pay to have your own blog, you can pay for someone else's blog, and that means you get to write and post and get comments back from a whole lot of people. You can comment on other people's blogs--if you pay--or else you can just read the blog and not pay. Of course you might miss some of the "pay only" content--much like modern news media has teaser stuff but to read the whole article, you have to pay for a subscription. The Substack blogs cover all kinds of topics and there are a few "professional" writers--meaning they're journalists and writers who have published and been paid larger bucks than the $5 a month they get per subscription on Substack--but I think most bloggers aren't in that league. I mainly look for blogs to do with the British Royals because that's my not-so secret interest but occasionally I've looked at blogs from writers on New York Times or The Atlantic. I even bought someone's book "Sorry I'm Late But I Didn't Want To Come" because it sounded quite interesting. It wasn't, I haven't yet got past Chapter 3. Oh well.

My question to myself at the end of this year was, "Did I want to go that route?" Write an actual Substack blog, knowing that all sorts of people might read it. Well, looking at Twitter/X, I definitely don't feel like putting myself out there for so many crazy or just plain grumpy, judgmental people. Not that I am not, on occasion, grumpy and judgmental (hopefully not crazy though) but I choose my responses carefully and try not to annoy the original blogger. So, no, no public Substack blog for me. Which means that the nigggling question I've had for so many years--do I have it in me to become a "published writer"--is now answered. No, I don't. At least not presently.

But what to do with this blog then? Because I still like to write and sometimes writing in my private Day One journal, or emailing very long missives to friends just doesn't seem "enough". Ah, that word "enough". Well, broadening out my thought processes, that's where I find myself in 2024--thinking about whether my life is enough. I tell myself over and over again that I am finally at peace, that I really like my very quiet life here in southern Arizona. But, if that's true, why do I find myself stuffing myself full of chocolate and bread, clobbering my 2024 goal (which was also my 2023 goal) of losing weight? It's not that I don't KNOW how to lose weight. Of course I do, I've done it many times in the past. And gained it back. And lost it. You know the drill.

So, why do I, when I "think" I am perfectly happy sitting in my chair reading a good book or watching an interesting series, then almost robotically, get up and go into the kitchen and look for stuff to eat. And, please, I also know that the diet experts say, well, don't have things in the house. Please. I have a car. I have a credit card. The grocery store is open to midnight. 'nuff said. 

Others might say, well, then what's wrong, at your age, with just accepting the weight? Hmmm.... Well, first of all, the stuffing my face actions seem to indicate to me that there's something else in my life that I might (?) want to address? And the other thing is that if I continue to stuff my face, my weight will continue to rise until it once again, as it did a year and a half ago, gets into the "obese" range. Which, considering that my family has a history of heart disease and now cancer, and that I already have some small concerns with occasionally being short of breath, well, it's just not a good idea to let the overeating lie; it's not a good idea not to address it.

So, the long and short of it is, welcome to my blog for 2024. I have no idea what direction it's going to take or whether it will continue to be a commentary/update for the friends who currently read it or whether others might find their way here. I subscribe to one Substack blog--Susan Cain of "Quiet" and "Bittersweet" fame--where the commenters seem to be reasonable, helpful people. I've mentioned to a couple that I have a semi-private blog and they say they've dipped into it. Don't know whether they'll return. I do love comments from friends, many of you send me private emails, that's fine. If you want to comment on here, that's fine too. As I said, this will probably be as close to an "adventure" as I get this year.

I have no big plans for traveling. Richard insisted we book a Cunard voyage this year and we decided, with our somewhat straitened funds this year, the best option would be another Alaska cruise, but this time on the Queen Elizabeth. We found one that fit the budget and actually Richard's brother and his partner are coming along. Hmmm, that should be interesting in July :) I continue to do some subbing but feel a lot less intense about it than I did when I wrote my last blog in October. So, right now, my topics will probably be about interesting tidbits I pick up about overeating, books I liked, questions I have. I will try to stay out of politics unless things become so dire that I am expecting police at my door at any moment.... 

Let the games begin!