I had a down day today. Not really surprising, I have been dealing with so much change lately and I am tired. It's unrealistic to think I would keep sailing through without some wobbles.
I picked up one of those UK magazines called Woman and Home at the supermarket today. Kind of like those weekly women’s mags in the States that promise huge weight loss in record time and then are full of recipes for chocolate cake and BBQ'd spare ribs.
Anyway, there was an article called “Beat Stress… even when your world is in a Whizz” which featured short snippets from popular self-help books. The comment from Eckhart Tolle, who wrote “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” got me thinking:
“Problems are mind made. Ultimately, it’s about realising there are no problems. Only situations—to be dealt with now, or left alone and accepted as part of the present moment until they change or CAN be dealt with. Ask yourself what “problem” you have right now, not next year, tomorrow, or five minutes from now. You might be carrying in your mind the insane burden of 100 things you will or may have to do in the future, instead of focusing your attention on the one thing you can do now. Make the decision to create no more problems, no more pain.”
I have no situation that NEEDS to be dealt with at present. The dog’s been fed, I can’t continue transcribing the rest of my Irish cemetery until my iPad recharges, and cooking dinner is half an hour away. So I can just sit and “be”—aaghhhh! My mind can’t deal with that. Instead it digs up my concern over how my landlady MIGHT be feeling about our leaving earlier than the three months we had originally said we would be here. And then the internal argument begins—
Val #1: This place is a dump. The house we’ve just rented in Dunmore East is way better, cheaper, everything works and there actually IS a village you can walk to that has grocery stores and people.
Val #2: Well she intimated that it might not be up to your American standard, that it was a 200 year old cottage. But I do agree she was obscure about the fact that the “village” that is nearby is just a collection of houses.
Val #1: Yeah well she only intimated about the house after she had me hooked with the description of the beautiful setting and pictures of the outside (it really looks beautiful outside.) And the furniture that was in the place in the photos isn’t the furniture that is here now. The previous tenants took their good stuff and the owners replaced it with stuff they had stored in their attic. Hard Futon-type sofa. No lamps except for one with no bulb and no shade. We live in candlelight-type dimness with only the bulbs in the old overhead lights. Let's not even talk about the inside of the closets and the exposed bathroom pipes with cruddy insulation foam squeezed in all the corners. Or the door handle in the second bedroom that is hanging off with no screws to put it back and tighten it. The washing machine that only has one cycle (at least it's cold water.) The mystery of what to do with the trash that never gets answered. That’s way more than “not quite up” to American standards.
Val #2: Well, you had a choice. Either put up with it, paying more attention to her feelings than yours or speak your mind. You chose to confront the issue because of how you felt. Richard would never have confronted her. Not his style. English and Irish folk are much more plain speaking than Americans are. Besides, she said two weeks ago when you did tell her that you two weren’t comfortable in the house that you should look for something else and she would have no trouble renting it. And she was fine last week when you texted her and said that you had found something and were moving. Why are you still carrying this?
Val #1: Because she hasn’t had any contact with us since then—she didn’t invite us over for the promised New Year’s celebrations.
Val #2: And this is a problem. . .why? In a week and a half you will never see her again and she’s highly unlikely to go on Facebook and slag you.
Val #1: Oh, go on Facebook and slag me!! I never thought of that!
Val #2: Oh good grief!
Obviously, Val #2 is much more pragmatic than Val #1. I think that Val #2 would like to just “be” if Val #1 would stop bugging her.
I picked up one of those UK magazines called Woman and Home at the supermarket today. Kind of like those weekly women’s mags in the States that promise huge weight loss in record time and then are full of recipes for chocolate cake and BBQ'd spare ribs.
Anyway, there was an article called “Beat Stress… even when your world is in a Whizz” which featured short snippets from popular self-help books. The comment from Eckhart Tolle, who wrote “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” got me thinking:
“Problems are mind made. Ultimately, it’s about realising there are no problems. Only situations—to be dealt with now, or left alone and accepted as part of the present moment until they change or CAN be dealt with. Ask yourself what “problem” you have right now, not next year, tomorrow, or five minutes from now. You might be carrying in your mind the insane burden of 100 things you will or may have to do in the future, instead of focusing your attention on the one thing you can do now. Make the decision to create no more problems, no more pain.”
I have no situation that NEEDS to be dealt with at present. The dog’s been fed, I can’t continue transcribing the rest of my Irish cemetery until my iPad recharges, and cooking dinner is half an hour away. So I can just sit and “be”—aaghhhh! My mind can’t deal with that. Instead it digs up my concern over how my landlady MIGHT be feeling about our leaving earlier than the three months we had originally said we would be here. And then the internal argument begins—
Val #1: This place is a dump. The house we’ve just rented in Dunmore East is way better, cheaper, everything works and there actually IS a village you can walk to that has grocery stores and people.
Val #2: Well she intimated that it might not be up to your American standard, that it was a 200 year old cottage. But I do agree she was obscure about the fact that the “village” that is nearby is just a collection of houses.
Val #1: Yeah well she only intimated about the house after she had me hooked with the description of the beautiful setting and pictures of the outside (it really looks beautiful outside.) And the furniture that was in the place in the photos isn’t the furniture that is here now. The previous tenants took their good stuff and the owners replaced it with stuff they had stored in their attic. Hard Futon-type sofa. No lamps except for one with no bulb and no shade. We live in candlelight-type dimness with only the bulbs in the old overhead lights. Let's not even talk about the inside of the closets and the exposed bathroom pipes with cruddy insulation foam squeezed in all the corners. Or the door handle in the second bedroom that is hanging off with no screws to put it back and tighten it. The washing machine that only has one cycle (at least it's cold water.) The mystery of what to do with the trash that never gets answered. That’s way more than “not quite up” to American standards.
Val #2: Well, you had a choice. Either put up with it, paying more attention to her feelings than yours or speak your mind. You chose to confront the issue because of how you felt. Richard would never have confronted her. Not his style. English and Irish folk are much more plain speaking than Americans are. Besides, she said two weeks ago when you did tell her that you two weren’t comfortable in the house that you should look for something else and she would have no trouble renting it. And she was fine last week when you texted her and said that you had found something and were moving. Why are you still carrying this?
Val #1: Because she hasn’t had any contact with us since then—she didn’t invite us over for the promised New Year’s celebrations.
Val #2: And this is a problem. . .why? In a week and a half you will never see her again and she’s highly unlikely to go on Facebook and slag you.
Val #1: Oh, go on Facebook and slag me!! I never thought of that!
Val #2: Oh good grief!
Obviously, Val #2 is much more pragmatic than Val #1. I think that Val #2 would like to just “be” if Val #1 would stop bugging her.
Time for bed methinks. But let's end with something upbeat--like how wonderful Simon & Garfunkel still sound after 50-odd years.
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